In part 3 of our Family Matters series, we unpack how Kids thrive when they receive loving touch, meaningful time, and unconditional blessing, reflecting the way Jesus welcomed, valued, and affirmed children.
What Do Kids Need? 3 Biblical Truths for Christian Parenting
Christian parenting asks a question most parents carry quietly: am I giving my kids what they actually need, or just what I can manage to provide? The Bible’s answer, drawn from a brief but striking encounter in Mark 10, cuts through the noise. Three things rise to the surface (a loving embrace, meaningful experiences, and unconditional encouragement) and together they form a picture of what godly fatherhood and motherhood actually look like in practice.
Miami is a city that prizes achievement. The hustle is real and the pressure to provide is enormous. Mortgages in Kendall, traffic on the Palmetto, sixty-hour work weeks, another notification, another deadline. And somewhere in the middle of all that motion, it is possible to be physically close to your children and emotionally miles away. The good news this Father’s Day is that closeness can be reclaimed; not through a productivity system, but through three simple, profound gifts that Jesus himself modeled.
What Does Godly Fatherhood Look Like? It Starts With a Loving Embrace
Godly fatherhood does not begin with a lesson plan or a financial portfolio. It begins with presence: physical, unhurried, and warm. When Pastor Nick Hage described skin-to-skin contact with his newborn daughter Sarah in the delivery room, he was describing something that medical research has confirmed: the embrace communicates safety at a level that precedes language. Before a child can understand a promise, before they can process provision or even remember an experience, they can feel the weight of someone who stays.
This is exactly what Jesus demonstrated in Mark 10. The disciples were shooing children away from him (an understandable instinct for people managing a demanding public ministry). for people managing a demanding public ministry. Jesus stopped everything and corrected them with unusual force. The Greek word translated “indignant” in that passage is strong; one translation renders it “irate.” He did not simply wave the disciples off. He made a point of it. He took the children in his arms, placed his hands on them, and blessed them. He could have spoken a blessing from a distance. He chose not to.
What Jesus was doing in that moment was revealing the character of the Father. As he told his disciple Philip in the book of John: “If you’ve seen me, you’ve seen the Father.” A Father who does not remain distant. A Father who crosses the room. The profound mystery at the center of Christian faith is that God put on flesh specifically so that closeness would be possible. The God of the universe chose the embrace.
For Christian parenting in the everyday, this means more than a bedtime hug (though it includes that). It means being the parent who stays in the kitchen when homework is frustrating. It means being present at the table, not just at the table while scrolling. It means that your body language communicates the same thing the embrace does: I am here. You are safe. You have my full attention. This single act of godly fatherhood is more foundational than any gift you could buy.
One honest step you can take today: the next time your child asks for your attention and your instinct is to say “in a minute,” stop and say yes instead. Not every time; you are human. But once, deliberately, this week.
How Can Meaningful Experiences With Family Shape a Child for Life?
The second thing kids need, according to the message in Mark 10, is time; specifically, the kind of time that becomes an experience they carry. Pastor Omar Perez stood on stage and was honest in a way that settled over the room: he had wasted time. Not in some abstract sense. He named it clearly. He had prioritized career advancement, ministry visibility, and networking (things that felt urgent and significant) and the day came when none of those things were still calling. His family was still there.
The phrase he used has weight: “Proximity doesn’t equal quality.” He had been physically present in the same house, the same city, the same zip code, and emotionally somewhere else entirely. He thought his kids wanted the expensive vacation, the new clothes, the video games. What they remembered, what they still talk about, was the beat-up 1989 Toyota Corolla with no muffler that they called “the cool car.” The van with the missing middle seat, the McDonald’s nuggets, the portable DVD player in the parking lot. Those were the meaningful experiences with family that lasted. The affordable, ordinary, fully present ones.
Jesus modeled this in a single line from Mark 10:13: “Let the little children come to me.” The invitation itself was the gift. He was not offering them a program. He was offering them access. Time. Attention. The radical act of saying “you are not in the way; you are the point.”
Matthew 6:21 says it plainly: “For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” What you spend your time on is what you actually love. That is not condemnation; it is a compass. If your time is aimed somewhere else, you can redirect it. The meaningful experiences with family that your children will carry into adulthood are not built in grand gestures; they are built in repeated ordinary acts of choosing them. Family nights, car rides, inside jokes, a park in Tampa where someone threw a basketball and nobody forgot it.
One honest step today: block one hour this week with no agenda, no phones, and no productivity goals. Just show up in the same space with your kids and see what happens.
What Does Speaking Life Over Children Really Mean?
The third thing kids need is unconditional encouragement; and this is the one that Pastor Kevin Fischer pressed on with the most personal honesty. He admitted that in his desire for his children to be their best selves, he sometimes catalogued their shortcomings more carefully than he celebrated how far they had come. Most parents know that feeling. The intention is right (you want them to grow) but the instrument gets aimed at the gap instead of the ground they have already covered.
Speaking life over children, in the biblical sense, is not flattery. Blessings in scripture are specific and weighty; they address a person’s identity, their value, and their future. They are always positive and always encouraging. What Jesus modeled in Mark 10 was not vague affirmation. He took the children in his arms, placed his hands on them, and blessed them. He spoke life deliberately over people who had not yet done anything to earn it.
The anchor for this point comes from the baptism of Jesus, recorded in Mark 1. Before Jesus had performed a single miracle, before the Sermon on the Mount, before the healings, before any of it, God the Father spoke audibly from heaven: “You are my son whom I love; with you I am well pleased.” In plain terms: I love you and I am proud of you. Those words came before the résumé. They were not a reward. They were a foundation.
Speaking life over children means your children hear those two sentences from you: “I love you” and “I am proud of you.” Not only when they perform well. Especially when they haven’t. As Pastor Kevin said, you may not always be proud of what your kids do; but you can always be proud of who they are and whose they are. They are yours.
Those words do not stop being necessary when children leave the house. Pastor Kevin and his wife Debbie finish every phone call with their five adult children with the same sentence: “I love you and I am proud of you.” They never stop needing to hear it. And moms and dads, no matter how much teenagers pretend otherwise, your voice is still the loudest one in their lives. Speaking life over your children is not optional. It is the inheritance you leave before you leave the room.
One honest step today: text, call, or say out loud to your child (whatever age they are) these two sentences. Just those two. Notice what it costs you and what it gives them.
What Does Mark 10:13-16 Say About How God Sees Your Family?
The encounter in Mark 10 is only four verses long. Three of the four gospel writers included it anyway. That repetition is a signal. In those four verses, Jesus interrupts his own ministry schedule, corrects his disciples in public, gathers children into his arms, and speaks blessing over them. The disciples thought the children were a distraction. Jesus said they were at the very center of the kingdom.
Mark 10:13-16: “People were bringing little children to Jesus for him to place his hands on them, but the disciples rebuked them. When Jesus saw this, he was indignant. He said to them, ‘Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. Truly I tell you, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.’ And he took the children in his arms, placed his hands on them, and blessed them.”
| What the World Often Says | What Mark 10 Reveals |
| Children are a distraction from important things | Children are at the center of the kingdom |
| Love must be earned through performance | Blessing comes before the résumé |
| Presence is secondary to provision | The embrace precedes everything else |
| Time is money; invest it elsewhere | Where your treasure is, your heart follows |
For Families Across Southwest Miami-Dade
There is something about South Florida that makes this message land with particular weight. Parents from Westchester and Kendall to Cutler Bay, Palmetto Bay, Homestead, and the Upper Keys know how relentlessly this region demands of them. The cost of living, the commute, the pressure to perform and provide: it can quietly steal the very time you most want to give. If you find yourself wondering whether you have shown up for your family the way you intended, you are not the only one asking that question on this side of Miami-Dade. And this community exists precisely for people who are asking it. Miami Vineyard has spent more than 35 years in Southwest Miami believing that no season is too far gone, no relationship too frayed, and no parent too late to start offering their kids what they most need.
What God Does With the Time You Thought Was Lost
Jesus valued children in a culture that often dismissed them. He crossed the room, lowered himself to their level, and spoke words of blessing over them before they had done a thing to earn it. That is still what the Father does. The prophet Joel wrote in Joel 2:25: “I will restore to you the years that the locust has eaten.” You cannot recover lost time on your own. But the God who invented time can work with what you have left and redeem what feels irretrievable.
Christian parenting is not about a flawless record. It is about turning back toward your kids (with your presence, your time, and your words) and trusting that the one who took children in his arms is the same one working in your family right now.
When you are ready to take a next step, plan your visit here to see what Sundays at Miami Vineyard look like and find a community walking this out together.
If you want to go deeper in your faith and figure out what next steps look like specifically for you, get started here with our three-part Growth Track.
Frequently Asked Questions
Q: How do I become a more godly parent according to the Bible?
A: Godly parenting, as modeled by Jesus in Mark 10, starts with three consistent gifts: physical presence and embrace, meaningful time together, and spoken words of love and encouragement. None of these require a perfect record or a large budget. They require showing up and being honest with both your kids and yourself about where you want to grow.
Q: What does the Bible say about raising children?
A: Scripture consistently links raising children to presence, blessing, and words spoken with intention. Proverbs is full of instruction about the power of what parents speak over their kids. Jesus in Mark 10 demonstrated that children are not peripheral to God’s purposes; they are central. The call in Galatians 6:9 to “not grow weary in doing good” applies directly to the long, unglamorous work of parenting.
Q: Can God restore a broken relationship with my children?
A: This is one of the most honest questions a parent can ask, and the Bible’s answer is yes. Joel 2:25 speaks directly to restoration of what has been lost: “I will restore to you the years that the locust has eaten.” God can soften hearts, rebuild trust, and redeem time that feels irretrievable. That restoration usually begins with one honest, humble step toward your child: a phone call, a text, a conversation that starts with “I love you and I am proud of you.”
Q: What if my kids are adults? Is it too late to start speaking encouragement over them?
A: It is not too late. As Pastor Kevin Fischer shared, he and his wife Debbie close every phone call with their five adult children with the same two sentences: “I love you and I am proud of you.” Children never outgrow the need to hear those words from their parents. The words land differently at 25 than at 7, but they still land. A parent’s voice remains one of the most formative forces in a child’s life at any age.
Q: What do kids need most from their fathers, specifically?
A: Kids need fathers who stay close, show up without an agenda, and speak their worth out loud. The three things Jesus modeled in Mark 10 (the embrace, the invitation to come near, and the spoken blessing) apply directly to fatherhood. Boys need to hear from their dads that they are loved apart from their performance. Girls need to know their father is proud of who they are. Both truths become the internal voice a child carries into every other relationship they will ever have.
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